On Losing an Old Friend

It never gets any less weird to hear that someone you knew from school has passed away.  I honestly don't even know where to start with this, but I feel like I needed to say something because we used to be so close, once upon a time.

The first person I remember hearing about was a boy that I went to high school with.  He was one of the kids that would always run technical things for the theater department and he dated someone I was friends with for a while during that time.  A freak construction accident sent shock waves through everyone who knew him, even those who didn't know him very well like myself, because it was unexpected, he was a good kid, he had a lot going for him, and I know people still think of him daily.

The most recent before today was a girl who sat behind me in creative writing class, and across from me in a couple art classes my senior year in high school.  She and I would talk fairly often, but I don't believe she ever considered me a friend.  We were absolutely friendly to each other and had some very interesting and entertaining conversations, but I think we both knew, by the kind of girls we are, that we couldn't see ourselves having sleepovers or braiding each others hair.  I admired her, she was talented and funny and just different.  I still don't know exactly what happened, but I don't feel it's my business to ask.  I still think about her often.  She was a strange girl, she prided herself in that, and rightfully so because that was what really made her unique and a lovely person.

Today, my mom texted me asking if I had been friends with a girl from my hometown when we were little.  Knowing my mother, much like my grandmother, she never asks such specific questions without bad news attached. I instantly went to the girl's Facebook page to see if she had posted anything.  Nothing, not since much earlier this year...

Then I tried Google and typed in her name and our state.  The first result, as I had started to suspect, was an obituary, posted 23 hours ago.  I am honestly still in disbelief looking at the black and white photo that I'm almost positive was her senior picture for the yearbook.

We, unfortunately, went our separate ways as kids when I moved in fourth grade to another town and another school, but I still remember going over her house for her birthday for a couple years after that, seeing her every so often if our parents could get us together for a day on the weekends.  We played soccer together all the time, she was often paired up with me for class assignments because we sat next to each other in almost every class we had in elementary school.

Even though we haven't spoken in the last few years after graduating high school, I still considered you a friend.  You were one of the first friends I ever had.  You and Danielle were my best friends since kindergarten, and in addition to Holly from the end of my street, you were my only friends for a long time.

I would think of you from time to time after high school as I do with most friends (past and present) and, as weird as it sounds, I would look at a couple recent posts on your Facebook to see what you were up to.  You were going back to college, your son is adorable and doing well, learning new things and watching movies with you, and I would click away thinking you were doing well and happy with what you were working towards and the family around you.  But I guess those articles that show the juxtaposition of what we show others on the internet are true, you can always crop out the not-so-pretty parts before you hit the 'Submit' button.  I had no idea what you had gotten into, how you really were, or the things that have happened in your life since we parted ways so long ago.

I know not everyone can stay friends forever, despite circumstances or how hard you try, so I can't say that maybe if we stayed friends this wouldn't have happened.  I, however, do feel just as bad that I didn't take time to actually try and stay friends longer, or try again once I moved back to good old East Hampton during our senior year.  I don't blame myself or you what happened, because I know sometimes things just don't go as planned, and sometimes you just can't fix things.

I can say, however, that this truly sucks.  It sucks that you're gone now. You didn't deserve this, and I could tell from what I saw that you loved your little guy very much, and he loves you, too, and I wish that could have been enough.  I'm sorry this happened, and my thoughts are with your family and those who really made the time for you, and especially your son.  I wish you two had gotten more time together.  You're gone too soon, and I know you're already sorely missed.

YouTube Discoveries

In this last year, I (along with my sister, Hannah) have made some major steps in the world of YouTube.  At least that's what I think about the work we've done.  In the past 10 months, we have made a total of 47 videos, gained 84 subscribers, and have racked up an impressive 12.461 views as of this morning at 9 AM.

It's crazy to think that this all started out as just one video I made to entertain myself when I was living with a roommate who worked constantly.  This, so far, has been a rewarding and really fun and exciting side project for me, and I always find myself wishing that I had more time or better equipment to work and experiment with.

In the coming year, I'm looking forward to discovering more methods and creative ideas to enhance the channel and the content we come up with, and I already have a huge list of ideas to accomplish this coming year.  Here are some videos that have done the best this year, and I really hope to get some feedback from everyone so we can further improve our videos!

The Walking Dead, Mid-Season Finale (Season 5)

Sugar Skull Face Painting

The video that started it all: Emcee Inspired Makeup from Cabaret

Hope you enjoy these as much as I've enjoyed making them!  Happy Holidays!

Today, I Believe...

• That sometimes all you need is time, space, and coffee to power through the days ahead.
• Relationships are amazing and worth a lot of your attention, but never lose your head in them.  They may be the person you end up spending your life with, but your true friends will be there even longer.
• Endings are sad and scary, but there's always hope to fall back on.  It's never too late for a new beginning.
• Finding new music that you instantly love is one of the greatest pick-me-ups in rough times.
• It really is okay to eat an entire half of a cake while you're mentally unstable.  Just make sure, when you come back around, you do an extra lap or so around the track.

Happy Monday, everyone.  I hope you've all been well! (Or are getting well after the onset of seasonal allergies have kicked in).

April Playlist + Goals

I can't believe 2014 is basically already a fourth of the way over already.  This is ridiculous!  This months goals are pretty simple, I think, and there are only three.

1. Get things started -  I have an awesome birthday gift idea for someone special (which is going to take a bit of time to get together), and I also need to start jogging again. ASAP.

2. Get organized, and stay that way - after moving, things are even more of a mess than how they started... Spring cleaning!

3. Maintain my haircut + take care of my skin - Oklahoma (and e.l.f. brand makeup removing wipes) have not been good to my face and it's just starting to get back to its normal self.  Also, last time I got my haircut was in mid February (over a month ago) and I just cut it.  If you have short hair, you know this is a huge problem.  No one likes a mullet. 

Playlist!

Click here top listen to this months playlist.

Keeping it Weird

1. Rusty Belle - "Hellion"

2. Ruckus Roboticus - "Never Play With Scratches"

3. FC Kahuna - "Hayling"

4. Gotan Project - "Santa Maria (Del Buen Ayre)"

5. Of Montreal - "Tim, I Wish You Were Born A Girl"

6. I Monster - "The Great Soul Destroyer"

7. Phantogram - "When I'm Small"

8. Moby - "Porcelain"

9. The Mountain Goats - "Up The Wolves"

Instalife 10 & 11 and Mini Update

Long time, no see, huh?  Sorry I've neglected to post for the last couple of weeks but things haven't been going fabulously in recent days.  A lot has happened and I am officially relocating again.  I know, this is the third time in a year.  Someday I'll get my act together and stop moving around so much (and hopefully then I can do some home DIY projects on here).  However, please forgive me if I'm a little more sporadic with my posts for the next few weeks as I'm trying to repack and relocate again and re-settle in.

Anyways, here are the pictures I took for the last two weeks!

Day 61: Stranger - Skipped...

Day 62: Music

Day 63: Black and White

Day 64: Numbers

Day 65: Outfit

Day 66: Wheels

Day 67: I love...

Day 68: Where I Stood

Day 69: Nails

Day 70: Mood - Skipped...

Day 71: Broken

Day 72: Transportation - Skipped...

Day 73: Animal

Day 74: Woods

Day 75: Lazy

This one got skipped because I had the 24 hour flu... Don't judge me.

Hopefully this next week or so will work out better, and the move will go without too many hitches.  Wish me luck!

New Throwbacks (March Playlist)

In the past year or two, a lot of bands that I listened to in middle school and early high school have released new albums.  I've put together some personal favorites from those new albums for you to check out. Let me know what you think about the new albums or songs! They're all pretty different.  What did you listen to when you were in middleschool?

Listen to the playlist here!

1. M.I.A. - Sexodus

2. Daft Punk - Doin' it Right

3. Panic! at the Disco - This is Gospel

4. Fall Out Boy - Young Volcanoes

5. Placebo - Too Many Friends

6. The National - I Should Live in Salt

7. Cold War Kids - Loner Phase

8. Bo Burnham - Nerds (Explicit lyrics. Seriously, you've been warned.)

9. AFI - 17 Crimes

10. City and Colour - Of Space and Time

11. Relient K - If I Could Take You Home

March Goals and Instalife #9

Happy March, everyone!  We're edging closer and closer to spring, and I don't know about you, but I couldn't be more ready for warmer weather.

This month I only have three goals that I would like to stick with, but each of them are pretty big goals for me.
1. Save more money. I don't know how I always manage to do this, but I seem to always be completely broke and I'm determined to make that stop happening.
2.  Stay on track.  I have a lot of goals for this year, so this month I'm going to start making sure I focus on what's important right now.
3. Do things - ON TIME. This one is pretty self-explanatory, especially because in February I was a little all over the place with my schedule.  I promise, I'm trying to fix it.

Instalife #9

Day 54: Walking through town

Day 55: Just woke up

Day 56: Baby picture

Day 57: Glitter. I'm obsessed with this tape.

Day 58: Your choice: my mom finally met Tyler =)

I skipped day 58, which was a picture of a drink...

Day 60: chores... Work chores. Blegh.

And today it's freezing rain so I'm working on catching up and getting things done!

Who else is ready for spring with all of this nasty weather we've had?

March Photo a Day Challenge!

I can't believe February is almost over..  This year is already almost a quarter of the way through, and it still feels like Christmas was last week.

Now's the time for March Photo a Day Challenge!  Let me know if you plan to follow this month's challenge and leave me your instagram name so I can see the pictures you take.

My instagram is: DivineMissE02

Instalife #6 & #7

Obviously, I've been neglecting to post here for about two weeks, and if you saw my previous post, you'll know I've been pretty busy in that time.  Here are my 365 day challenge photos (plus some extras) for the last two weeks!

Day 33: Shadow - I always get raccoon eyes when I wash my face...

Day 34: Mail - I regret contacting anyone from a college.

Day 35: Cozy - Slept in!

Day 36: Stairs 

Day 37: Memories - I've always done this with the last piece... I don't know why.

Day 38: Routine - My morning routine was all messed up because I packed everything to come with me on the plane to Connecticut.

Day 39: Travel

Day 40: Shopping - All the snacks!

Day 41: Birthday - Kaeley is the best. Black forest cake, from scratch.

Day 42: Makeup - Playing with some color.

Day 43: Lips - I need to make one of these and frame it.

Day 44: Baking - I skipped this! AH! =(

Day 45: Lights - O'Hare Airport

Day 46: Candy - Tracy and I are adults and got 4 spins worth of candy from the machine at work.  Worth it.

AAAAAND EXTRAS!

Casino with some of the best people I know.

Giant margarita thing.  Delicious, and dangerous.

Walking Dead penny slots!  I actually won on this one =)

Travel day, out of the snow and back to OKC.

My nephew, Tyler, was born this week!!!

Snuggle time with the munchkin <3

Look for another Instalife update in just two days!!  Almost caught up!

February Photo a Day

With only a week left in January (can you believe that?), I decided it would be a good time to gear up for February's Photo a Day Challenge and post my plans now.

So far, this 365 day challenge has gone pretty well for me.  I haven't missed a day yet, which surprises me, and hopefully I'll be able to keep up with it.  Is anyone else challenging themselves this year?  Have you been keeping up with any resolutions?

If you have an Instagram and want to do the 365 Challenge with me, let me know your username so I can check out your pictures! Here are the daily goals for February:

Instalife #3

Alright, third week down!  I'm going to be honest with you, this day-to-day project is getting a little bit harder as the month goes on.  I almost forgot take the pictures on a few days this week, but I'm hoping for a better week coming up!  Here are this week's photos:

Day 12: Artwork. The only thing I can draw is an octopus.

Day 13: Where I sleep.

Day 14: Work.  (P.S. Please don't fire me for taking pictures at work.)

Day 15: Front Door.  Hello, reflection of me. =)

Day 16: Coffee/Tea.  I had been obsessing over the idea of Dunkin ice coffee for almost a week.  Worth the wait, but let's not part for that long again.

Day 17: Food.  This is my food inspiration for this week!  I'm making dinner one night this week for my sister and brother-in-law, and I've decided on brie and apple crescent rolls, creamy spinach pasta, and green tea donuts.  So excited!  The donuts are an experiment because I'm changing the recipe up a bit, so I'll keep you updated on how it goes.

Day 18: Park, after Colin jumped out and started running down the sidewalk.

Happy Sunday Eve & I hope you're enjoying the weekend!

If you want, you can follow me on:

• Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/divinemisse02
• Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/divinemse/
• Tumblr: divinemisse.tumblr.com
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/OfficialDivineMissE

Today I Believe...

• It's okay to have several favorites of everything. Personally, I could never choose one color or movie or song because I change my mind every few minutes.
• Setting 5 (or 8) alarms is acceptable.  Just make sure if you're going to sleep through them, you sleep alone or far away enough that you don't ruin someone else's sleep.
  
• This right here:

• Change jars are a great thing to have, especially if you work somewhere with a vending machine.  As an adult, snacks become your meals.
• Just be a big kid and do things yourself.  You can't rely on other people to make things happen for you.
• Forgiveness comes in a lot of very small, mostly painful steps, but if it's worth fixing, it's worth the work.
• Sometimes you just have to cut it all off and start over. Literally.