I don't know... {bitch-fest}

So, I finally figured out how to post a blog from my phone, and I'm really hoping that this works out.

Either way, I feel like I'm always in a bad mood lately and I'm really not sure why I bother with anything lately. At work, I'm the new girl who can't seem to do anything the right way. At home, I'm never right, someone is always going against me and arguing with anything I say. Apparently, nothing I think matters, which I guess I can't say I disagree with, but I just wish I could say something, anything, without being challenged.

I hate when people tell me that I don't know what I'm talking about. Yesterday, it was the last day of the first week of my new job, ontop of the last day/performance for the homeschool class I taught this semester. I hadn't slept for 30 something hours prior to all of that. I mentioned that I was tired and someone told me that I had no idea what tired was, after going through what they had this past week, then I could be tired. I guess my idea of 'tired' isn't valid... Whatever. Asshole.

The other thing that's really been on my mind a lot lately is how much people think I seem to need help.  Not mental help, but I can't seem to do anything by myself.  I was asked to be the assistant director of a show for a theater company I've been with for something like 10 years now.  I was excited to do it, I've assistant directed another show before, so I figured it wouldn't be a big deal to do it again.  Well, I guess I'm not capable of doing it alone, because the director brought in a second 'co-assistant director' and had one of the older cast members running rehearsals lately.  If you don't want me to do something, don't bother asking me to be a part of it.  I was also asked to be a teacher for a counseling group, but was replaced by the same person who is co-assistant directing and being given my PR position.  So, obviously, I can't be trusted to do anything or get anything done alone, which is really fucking aggrivating.

I', really just starting to wonder why I bother with anything.  No one trusts me to do anything right or on time, no one wants me around, no one can have a conversation with me without arguing with me, all I do is complain about everything and I really don't know what the point is anymore.  I really don't.  Maybe there isn't one...  I just want to say 'fuck it' to everything except work and just save up to leave.  I know I bring that up a lot and I want to just run away from my problems, but I feel like that's the only other way to get around things.  Just to start over.  I hate it here.